Saturday, May 12, 2007

Fitness follies

I thought with the departure of Brolivia, the fitness follies would be over. No siree. The instructor that replaced her kicked butt, but quit soon after starting. I don't need instructors to entertain me though. The other members are quite enough .
Recently, we were waiting for the exercise room to be unlocked and the instructor to arrive. It was, at that point, just me and another person, a middle aged woman with frizzy reddish hair and a tremendous amount of makeup caked on her face. The woman looked familiar to me. I was pretty sure where I knew her from, but didn't say anything. I was too distracted by her attire. This was an advanced step class (truly advanced, not Brolivia advanced). The woman was wearing a lovely skirt and jacket ensemble. The skirt was ankle length with a couple of slits, and the jacket was a matching short sleeve thing. They were rayon or some other non-giving fabric. I thought maybe she was just lurking and wasn't going to actually take the class, but no, she was telling me how she had company coming and wanted to get this class in beforehand and yada yada yada. Okay. Fortunately, once we were in the room, she removed aforementioned outfit to reveal sorts and a t-shirt. I was slightly disappointed as I had hoped I would have an amusing class today. She positioned her step right in front of me, in the front row, near the mirror. No biggee. I like the middle row. But because she was right in from of me, I caught frequent glimpses of her in the mirror,and, despite the removal of her outfit, she didn't disappoint. While doping the step routine, she was checking herself out in the mirror, puckering her lips and furrowing her brow in a "come hither" kind of way. Hmmm. I tend to look my worst when exercising and make zero effort to improve anything, but not this chick. She was in a full-on attempt to seduce herself while huffing an puffing and stepping away. I was sooooo glad Andie wasn't there today because I would have been unable to contain myself. And the turns out a. she was one of my college professors and b.) she lives next door to Andie. Excellent.