Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Kegels please

So Carly and I, after our volunteer stint tonight, decide to go out. We go to the mall so I can exchange some things, and we hit Pizzeria Uno. Yummy pizza skins and dessert. I'm wondering if they get commission based on the urine output of their customers, because I never asked for a refill, but I think I drank four diet Cokes. We leave Unos to shop some more, and realize, as we're abut to leave, that not using the Unos restroom was a stupid move. A discussion of the state of a womans bladder post-childbirth ensues. We marvel at the dread we feel when faced with the urge to sneeze. I also remarked that my fitness class required jumping jacks the other day, and it was pretty scary for me. Carly mentions Kegels. Now, I know what Kegels are. But seriously, when would I remember to do them? When I think of toning my muscles, I think, gee, my stomach needs work, wow, my arms are getting flabby, I could stand to work out my legs, butt, etc., some more. I do not think, gee, I think I'll work out my vagina today. I'm not saying it wouldn't help, but hell, I can't see it. It's not flaunting its poor state at me every time I look in the mirror. Outta sight, outta mind I guess. Anyone out there who remembers to give the ole who-ha a workout, I commend you. And I congratulate your partner on finding such good fortune. Perhaps I should suggest a Kegels class be added to the class offering list at the fitness center I recently joined. Bring your own equipment. I would definitely have to make that suggestion anonymously.
Now Carly thinks that a vibrator would do just fine for serving the same purpose with added bonuses. I tell you Carly, I googled Kegel +orgasm today and found no evidence that they have the same benefit, only that doing the one (Kegels) can help improve the other (orgasm). Sorry, hon. Did you keep your receipt?

Today is my younger daughter's first birthday. Happy Birthday, Thing 2! I'm not sure I'm allowed to blame you anymore for the pathetic state of my body. You're off the hook baby girl.


Sgt said...

Hey don't knock it. I'm sure in Carly's mind she thinks that using a vibrator is an effective toning device. Then again.. I'm guessing anyone who's testing the theory isn't complaining about the logic.

Carly said...

Woman, I am going to kill you.


Tiffany Granath swears by Kegels. And vibrators... but only pretty ones. Bahahaha!

emmay said...

hey, you told them I ate chocolate off my shirt...